The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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