I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
