oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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