he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
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