in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize
