She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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