Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
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