so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
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