The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
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