I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
