oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
