You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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