I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I have feelings that need drinking.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Randomize