what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize
