it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Boobs are out for the taking
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Randomize
