youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
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