): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
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