I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
COCAINE IS GR8
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
