So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
