He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
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