I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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