I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Randomize
