how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
So here I am, sexting at work.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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