So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
