You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Randomize
