i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
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