Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
