I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
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