i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
