Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
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