the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Threesome in a minivan. New low
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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