protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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