i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Randomize
