I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
