David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
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