At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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