I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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