somebody snuck up and got me drunk
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
So squirting runs in the family.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Randomize
