it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
