He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Randomize
