you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
