with your own penis?
Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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