he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
