Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
sex in a hospital.. check
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
