saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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