She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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