Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Randomize
