Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize