Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
