Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Randomize
