I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
