He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
