I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
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