Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Randomize
