I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize