hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Every concussion has its silver lining
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
