I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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