So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Who died my cat blue again?
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Randomize
