I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Randomize
