idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
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