Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Randomize
