My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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